Polyamory and the Nomadic Lifestyle

Today, I leave St. Thomas to work at a camping program in the states. I likely won’t return to St. Thomas until Thanksgiving.

In total, I plan to work in three different places this year. The longest amount of time I will spend in one place will probably be 6 months, and that will be broken into two three-month stints, with a three month break in the middle.

Long distance relationships are hard. I’m not going to argue that they aren’t worth it; I believe that most are. I have discovered that for myself, though, polyamory has made long distance relationships a teensy bit easier to handle. This is good, because with how much I move around, I’ve got a couple to deal with and can use all the help I can get.

There’s something comforting about being able to reach out to the people in my immediate vicinity for comfort, without fearing the possibility of feelings developing. When monogamous, there is a wall to maintain, and lots of angst and worry if the wall fails to keep feelings out (which, I’m sure, is something many people have experienced).

Being able to reach out and develop natural relationships with the people around me actually makes it easier to hold on to the people who are far away from me. I find support, and I can be myself without worry, and as long as everyone knows that the people I love know everything, and as long as I am communicating with the people who aren’t present, I’ve found that I enjoy myself much more. Life is happier.

It’s also worth noting that, for me, the fact that I haven’t been in one place for longer than three months in the last year makes it difficult to be “taken seriously” in the way that many people want to be able to do. Everyone knows that long-distance is hard, so why invest in a relationship with someone who is going to be leaving in a couple of months?

Inevitably, some people do anyway, (we can’t control feelings, after all) but I find that people are much more accepting of my nonmonogamous ways because of the fact that I’m always moving away. I’ve made some very close friends, and more than friends, over the last year, and as I look back, I can’t say there are any broken hearts. I miss people while I’m away, and they miss me, but even though I’m always moving away, I’m also always coming back.

Eventually.

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